Today was one of those days where I just wanted to snuggle under my covers forever, it was gloomy and the rain was coming down so hard it sounded like little pebbles on my window. I was counting down the minutes till my alarm went off and dreading actually leaving the comfort and warmth. As expected it goes off and I hurl myself out of bed, get ready, and before I know it, (what seems to be against my better judgement) I’m on my way to starting off my day. Through out my day I come across all kinds of different people, some that I hope to never see again, some that I wish I could see everyday, and everything in between that. My morning was busy, and I didn’t even have time to think for myself until this tall man with aged dark skin walks in. He reminded me of my grandpa because just by looking at him I knew he was gentle and patient. Right away he started asking about me. Usually I just shrug my shoulders and try to come up with the easiest and fastest answer to questions without ever really explaining myself but this man was different. He asked me what I was doing with my life, and I told him that I keep myself constantly busy, I go to work right to school right to the gym and if I have any free time I read or surround myself with the people I love the most, because of a bad breakup that I was trying to keep as far from my mind as possible. He started laughing, from what I thought, at me. My cheeks flushed pink and my skin temperature felt so high that whoever walked into the room could probably feel the heat I was giving off, I was so embarrassed. He started to shake his head at me and I wanted to sink so low and forget about this whole ordeal and go back to my comfy safe bed, but before I could turn away he says “no, no, it was a good break up because now you’re free.”
I just looked at him and I tried to grasp what he just said, I tried to defend and explain myself, so I began, “ but I think it hurts. It still hurts. Its been a long time since my heart was first broken. Its been mended with band-aids and hope and best friends along the way but it never fully healed. How can it? If hearts actually heal then that sharp pain wouldn’t come back. It wouldn’t come back when we hear their first name. It wouldn’t come back when we smell them in someone else. It wouldn’t come back when we just think about it for a split second. As happy and as busy as I’ve been, sometimes it just hurts.” This man… Wil, was actually really listening to every word that left my lips, and he was staring at me like he was seeing right into my heart and he says, “Now I don’t know you but I can tell that you’re a giver, you have a gentle soul, and I don’t doubt it for a second that this person really tore you up and you probably did things that you’re not proud of, you look back and you say that wasn’t me, but let me tell you that there is always a positive out of a negative.
You’re going to find your self and that’s most important. You get to enjoy the quiet, and you can get through this. Instead of thinking about the memories or what went wrong, the hurt he put you through, just think that you’re free. Whether you decide to go back or move on, during this time, you have you. Look at the direction you’re headed in, it’s your choice, your path, and I think that you’re doing a great job at being you.” Now, not a lot of people can make me see things in a different light, I’m very stubborn and stuck in my ways, and it doesn’t help that I’ve had every break up cheer you could ever imagine and it’s always the same thing over and over that it becomes natural to nod my head in agreement and move along, but the way that Wil said “you have you,” it just opened up my heart. It actually made sense. Today I was so grateful that I got out of bed and did what I had to do, you never know who you’re going to come across and what you’ll learn.
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